What To Do When I Hit the Wall

The Wall

The Wall

"Hello Wall.Nice to meet you. Just wish you hadn't hit me so hard. Or did I hit you?"

Events roll in. To Do's pile up. Laundry backs up.

It all seems urgent, necessary, and immediate. No time to recover, to think, to ponder, to meditate, to rest.

Which need is most immediate? Which fire must be put out? Which catastrophe must be avoided the most?

Today I feel like Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn: surrounded, hopeless, and uncomfortably suspicious that I brought this upon myself. [tweetthis]I feel like Custer: surrounded, hopeless, and uncomfortably suspicious that I brought this upon myself.[/tweetthis]

I have hit the wall and I need a solution.

Enter the Solution

God's solutions are always better than my solutions. The solution He gave me this morning- Psalm 91.

Step One: Seek refuge in Him.

Verses 1-10 make it very clear that this is not an imaginary situation. There are terrors, arrows whizzing past my ear, and ten thousand enemies.

He will cover you with His pinions,And under His wings you may seek refuge;His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

You will not be afraid of the terror by night,Or of the arrow that flies by day;Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. Ps. 91:4-6 (NASB)

My only job at this point is to seek refuge in Him because He will cover me and He will deliver me. I cannot plan or multi-task my way out of this situation. I am just going to have to sit down in the lap of His grace and let Him fight this battle for me.

Step Two: See the reinforcements

Verses 11-13 reveal that I am not in this fight alone.

For He will give His angels charge concerning you,To guard you in all your ways.They will bear you up in their hands,That you do not strike your foot against a stone.You will tread upon the lion and cobra,The young lion and the serpent you will trample down. Ps. 91:11-13 (NASB)

Yes, I may be surrounded by enemies, screaming my name and trying to defeat me, but I am also surrounded by angels. Not anemic angels, strumming harps, but warrior angels, who guard me and bear me up.

Immediate, screaming needs tend to turn my focus on the material realities directly in front of me. I loose sight of the supernatural realities fighting on my side, enabling me to tread upon lions and cobras and not be harmed. (Psalm 91:12,13) So I must look at the situation with spiritual eyes or I will miss the whole angelic show!

Step Three: I do my job and I let God do His

“Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.“He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;I will be with him in trouble;I will rescue him and honor him.“With a long life I will satisfy himAnd let him see My salvation.” Ps. 91:14-16 (NASB)

Oh my, how I love this. Verses 14-16 shift from the voice of the psalmist, to words from the mouth of my Lord. He tells me exactly what my jobs are and exactly what He will do.

My jobs:

  • love Him
  • know His name
  • call upon Him

His promises:

  • deliver me
  • set me on high
  • answer me
  • be with me in trouble
  • rescue and honor me
  • satisfy me with life
  • let me see His salvation

His list is long and mine is short . God's work is active and mine is passive .

I get so darn busy fighting my battles on my own that I loose sight of the fact that He just wants me to love Him. He wants to deliver me and all I need to do is call upon Him. [tweetthis]I get so busy fighting my battles that I lose sight of the fact that He just wants me to love Him. [/tweetthis]

So good bye wall. Nice running into you. But I have a shelter, a refuge, and a fortress that I would rather spend time with.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most HighWill abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God in whom I trust!" Psalm 91:1-2

Too Much To Do

Truth: there is too much to do.crazybusyWay. Too. Much.

Maybe that is why I picked up this book, Crazy Busy by Kevin DeJoung.  Maybe he has some answers.  If I just weren't so busy I might be able to find out because then I would have time to read it? As it is I have only gotten through the first few chapters. I like the book, at least the parts I have read. Here is my favorite quote so far:

"I let my planning be dictated by pride rather than by what would best serve my soul, my family, and my church." -Kevin Deyoung

I like that quote because it is true. But I still think there is too much to do.

Is there a twelve-step program for the over-busy? "Hello, my name is Susan. I am a Doer."

The verse, "he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully" (II Cor. 9:6) has always inspired and paralyzed me.  The verse is actually in the context of giving financially. But since abundant finances have never been an issue for me I have applied this to what I can give- time, energy, effort, and service in the life of others, from my immediate family to those around me.

I do not want to ever sow sparingly. I want to sow bountifully. But how in the world do I measure that? Because the great question has always been, "When have I done enough?"

The very next verse states:

"God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed...now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness."  II Cor. 9:8, 10

My reality is there is never enough time, energy, or ability available for ALL there is to do. I often feel overwhelmed with so many needs and so little of me left.

But here is another reality- in the verse stated above, II Cor. 9:8, God promises abundance for EVERY good work.

So here is the new thought I am wrestling with. Please see if my logic isn't flawed and if this is Biblical...

  • I need to do all the work that God has laid out in front of me
  • I need to trust God for the abundance that is required for this work and that He has promised to provide
  • BUT IF THE SUPPLIES AREN'T THERE, MAYBE THIS ISN'T A WORK ASSIGNED TO ME!

Sorry for the all-cap yelling fest- but seriously- this could be a life changer for me. You mean every need I see and come in contact with is not my responsibility?

Big Disclaimer- I fully reject the "God won't give me more than I can handle" baloney. I mean please....I had seven children. We moved eleven times. My husband lived in Honduras for a year while I was pregnant with my fifth and my oldest child was seven.  God absolutely gives me more than I can handle!

But maybe He does this so I will be stretched enough in order to fully see my extravagant need for His grace.

But just because God gives me more than I can handle DOES NOT MEAN HE ASKS ME TO DO EVERYTHING! (sorry about the yelling again.) Why is this such a surprise? Jesus did not heal every person. He did not solve every problem. He did not right every wrong.

But He did absolutely every, single, solitary thing He was supposed to do. (Mr. Deyoung makes this point in his book too.)

So yes!!! I want to sow for the Kingdom. I want to sow bountifully. I want to be fully engaged in the Lord's business.

But news flash----I am not the only sower!

God doesn't need me. He just graciously uses me to plant His love all around me. I need to be busy sowing. And it could be hard. And I might never see the results. I will leave those up to Him. But in the meantime here is my new game plan:

  • I am going to wait of God's supplies
  • I am going to sow bountifully every single seed He places in my outstretched hands
  • I am going to trust in His sufficiency.
  • But if His abundance is not there for the work then I am going to see if maybe I got into someone else's field and am doing someone else's work.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."  Eph. 2:10