46. How To Conquer Fear In The Empty Nest
Episode 46
What is God calling you to do in the empty nest? Does it scare you? Fear keeps us from moving into God's call in our life. In Numbers 13 when the Israelites reach the promised land, 10 of those men looked at what was scary in light of what they could do. Two of those men looked at odds stacked against them in light of what God could do.
Show Notes
In Numbers 13 when the Israelites reach the promised land for the first time the 12 men who went in or leaders. They weren’t random guys chosen from the back of the crowd. They were ones that had shown to be faithful and who were seen as leaders. Their opinion would matter so they had to have status to go in.
10 of those men looked at what was scary in light of what they could do. Two of those men looked at odds stacked against them in light of what God could do.
That is the challenge.
What giants are we fearing? What giants keep us from going where God tells us and doing what God directs us to do? What Giants are keeping us from our calling?
What scary thing looks so big it keeps you from doing what you think God wants you to do?
Here’s the deal, you’re probably right. It probably is too hard for you. Rarely does God call me to something that I can do in my own strength. It’s a place where He meets me and enables me. Yet even after experiencing that over and over again, I still can look at Giants and quake and tremble and think this is crazy and I don’t want to do this.
What Do I Do When I See Giants?
Giants look differently in different situations. They transform into whatever we fear most. What do your giants look like? It’s beneficial to identify them, because that’s the only way to fight them.
Mine pretty much always look like some version of the same giant. The giant named Fear. I fear looking foolish. I fear missing God’s call. I fear disappointing others. I fear wasting my life.
For most of my life, I didn’t identify these kinds of fears, and the host of others I haven’t named, as giants. But then I realized, if I allow them to block me from advancing into places God calls me, that’s exactly what they are.
And I’m acting like the 10 scared guys instead of the 2 brave ones.
When I observe outside issues and allow those to steer my decisions, I’m looking at giants instead of the Most High God.
Psalm 138:3 says, “On the day I called, You answered. You made me bold with strength in my soul.”
Isn’t it a relief to find a solution to our quaking knees? We call to our Strength, and He makes our soul bold. And my bold soul willingly faces giants in Jesus’ name.
In Numbers 13, we find the Israelites on the border of the Promised Land. They’ve experienced all the miracles of Egypt, water from rock, and quail falling from the sky.
At the Red Sea, they saw Egypt, the giant of the ancient world, with it’s chariots and warriors, toppled in the face of God’s mighty power. Now the Israelites face tribal people, whose walled cities must have looked like ant hills compared to the pyramids they’d built as slaves.
Moses sends twelve men and they observe the bounty of the land. It matches the Lord’s promises. But the strength of the inhabitants scare them.
They see what they aren't. What they can’t. And so they won’t. They won’t trust the Lord. They won’t follow His lead. They won’t possess what He has given.
But Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, "Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it." (Numbers 13:30) I love Caleb. Not only does he want to go occupy, he wants to do it NOW. Not after a plan or preparation. What gives him confidence that they’ll be able to overcome?
He observed the same exact things the ten scared ones did, who say, "The land, through which we have gone to spy it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people that we saw in it are of great height. ... we seemed to ourselves like grasshoppers, and so we seemed to them." (Numbers 13:32-33)
We ARE Like Grasshoppers
Here’s one thing they got correct. We are like grasshoppers, but not compared to others. We are grasshoppers compared to God.
“It is he who sits above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers; who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, and spreads them like a tent to dwell in;” (Isaiah 40:22)
What this means is that in the Lord’s eyes, those giants are grasshoppers too. Just like us.
If we look at our giants compared to ourselves, we will run and hide.
But, compared to the Lord? Our soul can be bold.
Joshua and Caleb understood this. They tried to encourage the people. “‘If the LORD delights in us, he will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land that flows with milk and honey. Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not fear the people of the land, for they are bread for us. Their protection is removed from them, and the LORD is with us; do not fear them.’" (Numbers 14:8-9)
How do we conquer fear in the empty nest?
These two willingly face giants not because they thought themselves strong enough.
Not because they are full of their own strength.
But because they allow the Lord’s delight in them to be their strength. He will accomplish this work, they just need to follow and obey.
The solution is the same for us. Follow and Obey.
What are your giants? Here’s some I see crippling God’s warriors, especially His middle aged, empty nest, not-sure-what-is-next warriors.
Past failures
Failed or failing marriages
Rebelling kids
Financial ruin
Bitterness
Disillusionment
Weariness
Fear of the changing world
Fear of what husband, children, family, friends will think if you go do something crazy for Jesus
Apathy
The list could stretch for pages, but I bet you can identify at least one of these that seems too big and strong to conquer. It has the ability to send you scurrying back across the border of your Promised Land, robbing you of all desire to return.
Last week in Episode 45 I posted my first interview. (Why Homemaking Still Matters In The Empty Nest). And I have some great ones coming. All ones that are women who look at the giants in the empty-nest land and decide to trust the Lord instead.
Remember: the ten scared spies and all the people who listened to their bad report had just come from slavery and hardship. Then they’d traversed the desert on the long road to Canaan. If they turned around it would be to head right back into the desert with all its privations.
That stops me in my tracks. Maybe the giants ahead of me look dangerous and terrifying. But the desert behind me only holds barrenness. Why would I return there?
God’s way with us is forward, across the river, into the land of giants, where He will make us bold with strength in our soul.
To thrive in our second-half, we must believe that He’s leading us. We must allow the past to remain where it is. It holds precious memories of our family, and with the sweet forgetfulness of time, it might take on a rose-colored glow. They forgot slavery.
It also might act as an accuser that says we are disqualified.
Our way is not to turn around and wish for the past.
We stand now is on the bank of the river Jordan. The new place Jesus points us to is on the other side, where we will definitely face giants. But never alone. And never in only our own strength.
The Israelites allowed fear to keep them from their purpose. Their children would need to do their job, because they balked at their opportunity. I’d rather fight the battles so that my kids can build. Only Caleb and Joshua, of their entire generation, had that opportunity again. As God passes judgement, He says, “‘But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land into which he went, and his descendants shall possess it.’” (Numbers 14:24)
I want a “different spirit”, just like Caleb. Let’s be the ones in our generation who trust the Lord and pursue His callings.
I want a spirit that sees giants in light of the Lord’s power. I want a spirit that will fight to stay in God’s will. I want a spirit that sees this new season of life as an opportunity to go in and take the land, whatever land it is that Jesus assigns for me to take.