Finding Freedom- Laying Down My Dreams
Laying down my dreams? Are you kidding me?That sounds defeatist and melancholy. That sounds like giving up and settling for mediocrity. That doesn't sound like freedom- it sounds like failure.
So let me explain myself.
I am a goal setter, a planner, and a list writer. I am also a dreamer and a story teller- so I have, through the years, tried to give God ideas of how things should work out. Because I have really good dreams and plans and I always think He might want to use them.
But the truth is that God often seems to have other plans. And sometimes, when things are not turning out at all like I thought....well....
It happens to everyone. The dreams and plans of the young 20 something, when you really believe you can change the world by 30, run head-on into the brick wall of the pesky realities of budget, school loans, illnesses, broken hearts, and all the other little adult issues that fall squarely and unavoidably into your life.
Maybe your dream job never materializes. Maybe a child is born with complications you never imagined. Maybe your marriage is not what you had hoped for. Maybe your salary is insufficient to fund your plans. Maybe your salary exceeds your hopes, but you have found your material possessions unsatisfying.
I have dreams that have never materialized too. I thought there were things I would do, books I would write, and places I would go, but they haven't occurred. I had assumptions and expectations and theories and intentions that have fallen flat on their face.
And that can be hard. Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."
But while I want the freedom from the disappointed hopes, I don't want to find that freedom by quietly accepting defeat and calling it reality.
I want to find freedom by laying down my dreams and stepping with blind faith and wild abandon into God's plans. I want to find freedom as I quit trying to write my own story and live with hope and confidence in the one He has written for me. I want to find freedom by trusting what He has allowed to happen and what He has not allowed to happen in my life.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." Is. 55:8
My dreams and goals and aspirations can't even touch the value of the treasure of the ways of God. What a waste if I keep dragging around the dead weight of shattered hopes when all I really need to do is abandon them to the rubbish heap and run headlong into the abundance He has prepared.
"... no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Cor 2:9
Why would I ever substitute my tinfoil plans for the solid gold of what God has prepared for me? He is the greatest Creator, Storyteller, and Craftsman imaginable. Why would I want to be in charge of my dreams, when He is willing to be?
His plans + His thoughts + His will = My freedom from false hope and shallow dreams.
That is some freedom I can live with.